In Love and War containts Adult material, including Shonen Ai/Yaoi... If
you don't want to read this then don't.
IN LOVE AND WAR
A Fushigi Yuugi Sekkushiaru Roman
by Sailor Mac and Sailor Star Love
Modern Tokyo, Miaka's bedroom
Morning. . .the sunlight hits my eyes, waking me up. . . For a
second, I'm disoriented. This isn't my room! I'm not in the palace
Where am I? Then, reality sets in. I'm back *home*. . . back
in modern Tokyo. I'm not in the Universe of the Four Gods anymore.
And in the next bedroom over is the man I love. Tamahome came
back home with me.
I still can't believe it happened. One second, we were on the
battlefield, and Yui was pronouncing her second wish. . . the wish
that she and I would both go back to Tokyo for good. . .and then
Tamahome style="mso-spacerun: yes"> screaming my name, grabbing at me. . .
And then, both of us coming to on the floor of my schoolroom.
What's going on back in Konan? Are they still fighting? Is it
over already? Are all my friends okay? Hotohori, Tasuki, Chichiri,
Mitsukake. . . Where's The Book? If I could find it, open it, read
it, I would know what was happening to them. I'm sorry, everyone,
sorry I can't be with you now.
I lie back down and think again of Tamahome being *here*, in
my own world with me. I've thought about that kind of thing so
much. . . I can't believe it's really happening! It's a miracle,
that's what it is. . .nothing short of a miracle. He's said he would
defy the gods to be with me, and I guess that's exactly what he did!
I'm so tempted to go into the room next door and wake him
up. . .but no, he needs his rest. I'll let him sleep awhile longer.
And meanwhile, I can indulge in all the fantasies I've always
had of us being in my world together, fantasies I can now actually
live out -- taking him to all my favorite places, introducing him to
my friends, curling up in front of the TV with him to watch romantic
movies. . .
And then. . .there's my *special* fantasy.
It's the fantasy I've had almost as long as I've been in Konan, almost as
long as I've known him. . .
Exotic? You could say that. Exotic for the Universe of the Four
Gods, anyway. It involves something they definitely do not have
there. . .
It starts out with me in my bathroom at home, but nobody's home
but me. . .and I'm getting ready for my shower. I turn on the water,
step in and let it run over my body. . .it feels so good, so
warm. . .I raise my arms so that it can run over my breasts, right
over my nipples. . .
And then, I hear the noise outside. I'm frightened for a
second. . .has someone broken into the house? Are we being robbed?
Am I in danger of being. . .
There is a shadow on the curtain, the sound of clothes being
dropped to the floor. . .then a familiar voice saying, "I thought
you'd like company."
Relief and happiness flood through me. "Tamahome!"
He pushes the curtain aside and climbs in. . .look at him, he's
just so gorgeous, so perfect. . . such a beautiful body, he looks
like he should be modeling underwear on bilboards, not fighting
evil. . .
I throw my arms around him and crush my body against his,
rubbing up against him, bringing my lips to his for a hot kiss. My
tongue pushes into his mouth, and I feel his caressing it, tickling
it, tangling with it. . .I slowly slide my hands down his back. . .
savoring every inch of him, every bit of smooth skin,
tight muscle. . .
When I reach his bottom, I take it in both hands and squeeze it
tightly. Oh, I *love* how it feels, so firm, so shapely. . .I begin
to knead it slowly, and he leans his head back and gives a moan.
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "Bad girl," he says in a teasing tone. "You're not supposed to do
that to a man without warning him first."
"Hmm. . . how can I make it up to you?"
"Why don't you wash me?"
"It will be a pleasure."
I reach for a bottle of shower gel on the side of the tub and
squeeze it on my hands. I bring my mouth to his again, for a few
quick kisses, letting my tongue just barely dart into his lips, just
enough to tease him. . .
Then, I smooth my hands down his neck and over his shoulders,
then down his arms. He makes an "mmm" sound as I move down to his
hands, gently caressing the backs, then moving down to his
fingers. . . He raises his arms, inviting me to soap along his
body. . .I get another handful of gel and run my hands quickly along
his chest (I plan on coming back there later!) and then down his
washboard stomach. . .
"Aahh," he says. "I've never enjoyed a bath so much. . ."
"There's more to come," I say, getting another handful of gel.
"Turn around. . ."
"You haven't finished my front yet."
"I'll get to it. . .eventually. You'll see."
"Hope that's a promise," he says, turning his back to me.
I start to run my hands over his back. . . then get a better
idea. I begin rubbing gel on my own breasts, and then stand right
behind him, pressing my breasts into his back. . .I start to move,
up and down, and the friction of his skin on my nipples is so, so
luscious. . .
He lets out a low moan. "Now *that's* what I call a style="mso-spacerun: yes">
"And I'm going to be sure you're *thoroughly* washed," I
whisper, rubbing harder, faster, moving my body up and down, around
and around. . .Tamahome starts moving with me, whispering my name,
reaching behind him to tangle his fingers in my hair. . . I lean over
and kiss his neck, nipping at it, swirling my tongue on it, as I
continue my unique way of washing.
I begin to slide down his body, until I'm kneeling behind him,
and I take more handfuls of gel and begin soaping his legs. I can
feel him trembling in anticipation. . . he knows I'm going to do
something after that, something good, but he doesn't know if it will
involve his manhood or his bottom. . .
It's the latter. When I reach that part of him, I wash it with
slow, wide circles, feeling it thoroughly, running my thumbs up and
down it. . .I pull away just long enough to let the shower spray
rinse him off. . .
And then, I begin to kiss the left buttock, stopping every once
and again to nip at it. He moans, very loudly. . . I can tell he
*really* likes this. I move my head to the other side, and begin to
nip at that as well. . .
"Miaka. . . ohh, I can't stand it. . .too good. . . too
good. . ."
I stand up again, pressing my breasts against his back and
letting my hands wander to his chest. . . see, I said I was coming
back there! And I find his nipples, and grasp them lightly between my
thumb and forefinger, squeezing them just hand enough to make him
moan again. I brush my fingers over them, again and again. . .
"There's still a part of you left to wash," I say. And I lather
my hands once again, and motion for him to turn around. . . I kneel
in front of him, and grasp his manhood with my right hand, the sac
beneath with his left. I move one hand, then the other, in a firm,
slow caress. . .
"Yes," he moans. "Keep washing me. . .like that, ohh, like
that. . .Miaka. . ."
I stroke faster with both hands, and he's starting to thrust
his hips, the low noises he's making indicating he's getting close to
orgasm. . .
But he gently pushes me away. "No. . . not yet. Not when it's
And then, he takes the same tube, and I shudder with
anticipation. . .
He squeezes some on his hands. . . and says "Close your
eyes. . ."
I feel his fingertips caressing mine, gently, so gently. . .
then moving up the back of my hands, up my arms. . . to my
shoulders. . .yes, lower, lower, please. . .
Damn, he's going up to my neck instead! And then down to my
back. . .which he's just soaping with his hands, no fancy tricks like
I used. . .ahh, but there's something else he could do for me when
his hands get low enough. . .yes, they're almost to my buttocks, yes,
yes. . .
AAIIEE! He's flaring out toward my hips instead. . . style="mso-spacerun: yes"> and back
down to my legs. . . His hands are on my feet now, then my ankles,
slowly working their way upward. . . *too* slowly. . . he's up to my
knees now. . .and then. . .ohh. . .my thighs. . .yes, yes, ohh, I can
feel the pleasure as he gets closer. . .closer. . .please, Tamahome,
move up, put your fingers in there, *please*. . .
Ohh, he's inching backwards instead. . . but now he's cupping
my bottom, and it's nice, so nice. . .and he's squeezing it like I
did to him, and I feel so hot all over. . . (I've had other fantasies
about Tamahome putting his manhood up there. style="mso-spacerun: yes"> . . in my bottom, that
is. Is that normal? Do other women think about that? I wish I had
someone I could ask. . .)
He stands up, and gently has me lean back against him. . . and
he puts more soap on his hands. . .
And then, I feel him grasping both breasts, squeezing them,
caressing them. . . I let out a very loud moan, especially when he
begins to rub his thumbs over the nipples.
"Is that good?" he whispers. "Do you like that? You look so
beautiful like that, honey, with your face all flushed in
passion. . . you're starting to feel really hot, aren't you? Your
heart's pounding. . .you want me to make you come, I know you
do. . . just relax, sweetheart. . .I'm going to make you come so
hard. . ."
He keeps one hand on my breasts. . . and then other reaches
down between my legs. . . first stroking the hair, lathering it. . .
and then. . .ohhh. . .yes, touch me like that, like that. . .no,
don't tease me! Don't just stick it in a tiny bit and pull it out!
Put it in me, put it in me, ohh, I *need* it, I feel so empty
inside. . . Oooh! Yes! There, there, that's my sweet spot, rub right
*there*, style="mso-spacerun: yes"> ohh, yes, I feel so hot all over.. . .ohh, the
feelings. . .I'm tingling right down to my toenails, I know any
second I'm going to come and come big. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> He takes his hand away. . . but bends me over further, and positions
himself behind me. . . because this is a fantasy, we're not bound by
the rules governing mikos. We can take our love to the limit, become
truly *one*. . .
I feel him grasp my hips. . . and then thrust into my womanhood,
deep and hard. I almost shriek. He leans over and kisses my neck, his
hands moving up to my breasts. . .
"My darling," he whispers. "I love you so much. . ."
"I love you, too."
He starts to move, picking up speed more and more and more. . .
his fingers play with my nipples, flicking lightly over them, then a
gentle squeeze, then rubbing his palms back and forth over the
surface. . .
"Tamahome," I moan. "Ohhh, Tamahome. . ."
"Miaka. . ." He thrusts faster, and his caresses increase, and
my head falls forward as I moan deeper and louder. . . oh, Gods, I'm
going to explode, I know I am, and I don't care, I could shatter into
a billion atoms right now and it would be glorious. style="mso-spacerun: yes"> . . more, more,
my love. . . ohh, I'm almost there, almost there. . .
And then, I feel it. . . the pleasure screams through every
inch of me, and I can only scream back, jerking my hips against him
again and again as one hot spasm after another wracks me. . . and I
hear him cry my name out, and I feel the hot rush of his seed filling
me. . .
We both collapse to the shower floor, exhausted and panting. I
turn so I can throw my arms around him and bury my head in his
"You never cease to amaze me," he says.
"Same here. . .I don't know what I'd ever do without you.
You're everything to me. ."
"You're everything to me as well. I love you. . ."
"I love you, too."
And we kiss again, and cuddle, and think to ourselves that we
want to stay together forever. . .
# # #
I snap back to reality.
I'm lying on my stomach with one hand in my pajama bottoms and
the other in my top. . . as I always am when I have this fantasy.
I roll onto my back and pull my hands out, straighten my
clothing. Did he hear me cry his name out when I climaxed? (It's
never, never as good as when he does the same thing to me. . .)
I may not be having this fantasy anymore. . . if it becomes a
Well, it *could* happen. We could find a moment when we're home
alone together, and then we could slip into the shower. . .
Gods, I shouldn't be thinking this way at a time like this. Not
when our friends could be in danger.
And the horrible thought keeps coming into my head that we may
never see the Universe of the Four Gods again, that we may be cut off
from them for the rest of our lives. I firmly push it away. I do
*not* want to think about that.
But. . . we're together, he and I. We've defied fate and the
odds. We're both living in the same world, my world. . . the world I
want to show him.
I get out of bed and head for the bathroom, to get ready for
the day. I'll make him breakfast, and then we'll take him into the
city on the train. I can't wait to see his reactions when he sees
everything. . .
Meanwhile back in Konan, in Tasuki's room:
Gods, I can't stop crying at night.
First Nuriko, then Chiriko... And now, so many deaths around
me, soldiers, men, women and childs decimated. And for what?
WHAT'S THE PURPOSE OF ALL THIS???? IS IT SOME SICK WAY THE GODS
I shiver, roll into a ball and gather the blankets about me.
But they offer me but a false warmth. My heart and soul needs warmth
but none can give it to me.
Chichiri could do all this, with but a tender gesture, but a
kiss. But we haven't spoken of our feelings since the few days before
we left for Hokkan. And now things have gone so fast, we hadn't had
time to talk.
I wipe a few tears, when Seiryuu was called forth and we lost
our seishi powers, I thought... I thought Chichiri would come to me
finally and that we could drown our sadness in our mutual love.
But Chichiri hadn't... He stays away from me and my love...
"GODS!!! Chichiri... What if I lose you also?... I couldn't
bear it!..." I sob, I no longer am afraid for me, I am afraid for
him. I cry so hard, that I attract unwanted attention.
Kouji comes in my room, no pishposh knocking among ourselves,
we've known each other too long for that.
"Gen-chan... Gen-chan... Are you okay?..." I feel him sitting
on my bed, if only this was Chichiri and not Kouji. Don't get me
wrong, I love Kouji, more like the brother I never had. Sure when we
were younger, we had a few tumbles, due to too much alcohol intake
but nothing serious, not really a relationship other than a deep
friendship. I love Kouji, but, it's so different from what I feel for
Chichiri. The love I feel for Chichiri is as intense as the heat of
the magical fire I wield, magical... yes... that's the perfect
"Genrou... What's wrong?.. Come on, ya can tell yer old pal,
Kouji!... Kouji is here to listen to yer problem, yep he is.. See?
I can't help but chuckle when Kouji pull the old talk to
himself routine. I sigh, my laughter is short lived.
"Ye're thinking about that monk, don't you?"
I nod, I already told Kouji of my feelings for Chichiri. I
didn't need to tell him, when I rescued Chichiri from those Kouto
guards that were attacking defenseless children. Kouji saw my
reactions, when Chichiri walked away he said: "Man... I don't know
what you see in that guy..."
"Damn it, Genrou... He's a monk! So okay, his sect doesn't
frown on the wedding of their monks but really... You and a monk?..."
"You haven't seen what I went through with him!" I snap at him.
He sobers up. "Gomen..." he says softly. "I shouldn't have
said that... If you care for him.. There must be a reason. But
Genrou, you'll end up sad and miserable, you cry yourself to sleep,
each night... I worry about ya!..."
"Chichiri isn't the only reason why I cry..." I answer. "I cry
because of Nuriko and Chiriko... how they died... How Chichiri could
"You could die, too... tomorrow, Gen-chan..." His voice is a
soft whisper. He comes into the bed with me, I'm aware how naked I
"Kouji, I..." He silences me with a passionate kiss. That kiss
make memories resurface, memories of me and him, comforting each
other, the only way we knew. We were young, we had too much fire in
our veins and a single touch would set us up. I close my eyes, it
would be so easy to close my eyes and surrender, love him since he is
giving me love freely.
I push him back, it would be easy, but it wouldn't be right.
My heart and soul would never forgive me.
"No... No, Kouji... When we were younger... We didn't know
better, but... not now... It would be a betrayal..."
"BETRAYAL???" He's mad... I can't blame him... "If he would
stop making you dangle like a used sock, I wouldn't have done what I
just did... You know that... He'll never love you Genrou... Like I
"Hai... You say it yourself... did... I'm sorry, Kouji... Those
days are over and you know that... You're my friend..."
"I know ya big lug..." He puffs, then has a weak smile. "I just
wanted to comfort you... You're right, it was a bad idea... Still
"To the bitter end..."
"Great... well... I better go... I made an ass out of myself
enough for one night... See ya in the morning." Kouji leaves me, he
couldn't fool me, I saw the concern in his eyes. He thinks I'm going
to hurt myself, if I keep on loving Chichiri. But how can my love for
Chichiri be so wrong, when it feels so strong in my soul?
I reach for my pillow and hug it tightly. "Chichiri..." I
whisper to the pillow. "Ai shiteru... Come to me... please..."
Chichiri's room in Konan palace:
I can't sleep no da...
Once more I am on my bed in the lotus position, trying to find
an inner peace I can't achieve. I resume whispering my mantras, but
nothing works, ever since the night has started, I can't sleep no da.
My concentration on my prayers slacks and I am transported in
a fantasy like world. I feel strong warm arms around me... Tasuki...
I feel his breath on my neck... his lips brushing the skin there.
I slap myself mentally and restart my prayers, I can't think of
him that way no da... I can't deal with this now.
My hands fall down of their own accord, they fall listless
before me. I see his face, smiling at me, then crying over the lost
of Nuriko and Chiriko, so much tears... He cares so deeply. I wish...
I wish, I would have gone to him then and comforted him.
But... I did not... I'm a coward, no da.
He needed me... And I cowardly held back. I was afraid no da.
Afraid to go to him, to hold him... Afraid I would have kissed him.
His pull on me is so strong, I must fight against it.
But I was mostly afraid of what the others would say, no da...
I'm the worst kind of coward that lives.
I'm afraid to love.
Afraid to lose him...
By my inaction... I probably did loose him.
My tears come down when I remember seeing Kouji appearing out
of nowhere, the joy in Tasuki's face, that weird little dance they
did. I was shocked, I stared at them, my expression might have been
one of surprise because of my mask. But inside... inside...
I start praying again, no I can't let my jealous nature take
over again. I shall control myself.
I hate Kouji, I hate him for coming here... For making Tasuki
NO!!! I can't have thoughts like that... Thoughts like that,
those were the same thoughts I had for Hikou when he took Kouran away
from me. Am I to relive this? Am I condemned to face tragedy each
I pray again, hoping to chase away those thoughts away with
meditations and contemplation.
Something hits me on the head.
"Nu... Nu.. Nuriko?..."
"Hai it's me..." Nuriko smiles at me then frowns. "What do you
think you're doing praying like that you think it's going to solve
"N... Nuriko" I repeat. "But... You're dead..."
"Now you think I'd let something like death stop me from
helping my friend?..." Nuriko tells me, I could see that his form was
somewhat transparent, a ghost...
"Well DUH! Of course I'm a ghost!"
"DAAAA! Don't read in my mind no da!!!"
"Oups sorry... That were your thoughts?... Wow... Sounded just
like talking... And before you lie yes I know your feelings about
Tasuki... so no use denying them!"
"Just how long have you eavesdropped on me na no da?" I ask
hotly a little mad at my deceased friend.
He looks at me smirks then his expression becomes more serious.
"Long enough to know that you're making a huge mistake!"
"Wha... What would you know?" I ask a little too fast.
"Because... I died without telling Hotohori-sama how I truly
felt about him. I was afraid too... And now, now it's too late. He
shed tears for me... He did care a little for me... Maybe... Maybe if
I had been more bold..." Nuriko shakes his head. "Anyway, the point
is. If you love Tasuki and you know he loves you... What the HECK are
you doing mopping around for?... Life is short Chichiri, you should
stop living in the past and concentrate more on the present and
future!... Believe me, I know what I am talking about!"
I look at him, blinking and a bit overwhelmed by all he told
me. Nuriko looks at me and waits for my answer.
"I can't..." I start.
"Can't or won't?... Chichiri, i didn't know you could be so
"W... What?... I'm not cruel!"
"Then how can you let poor Tasuki cry and feel miserable. He
respected your wishes, he proved his worthiness to keep his word.
He patiently... He still patiently waits for you to tell him you are
"But... I don't know if I should no da..." I tell him. "After
all... we are friends, Kouji is here and after what happened to me in
"BULL!" Nuriko snaps at me. "Just because something bad
happened to you in the past, doesn't mean you can't find happiness!"
"But... Kouji is here..."
"Damn it Chichiri! Tasuki loves YOU! So what if Kouji is here?"
I look away. "It would be easier for Tasuki to fall in love
with someone he knows..."
Nuriko stares at me as if I just gave him a slap in his face.
"Hello?... Are you living on the same planet as me? You don't choose
who you fall in love with! It happens!... You're supposed to be older
and wiser than me... I know myself more than you know yourself!"
I frown how can he say such a thing. "I know myself..."
"Then why do you do this to yourself?... I know you have a scar
to heal, but must you make Tasuki suffer also?"
I blink. "What do you mean?"
"He suffers in silence, so you don't feel pressure to answer to
his love until you are ready. But each passing day Tasuki sink in a
sadness, if you don't do something soon..."
"But..." I frown this doesn't make sense. "Tasuki is happy. I
see him everyday, he's so happy ever since Kouji came back..."
"He does it for you, baka! So you don't feel obligated to him.
He doesn't want to force your hand... He wants you to come of your
own free will..." Nuriko tells me.
"It's the TRUTH, Chichiri... You think I better things to do in
the afterlife than come here and lie to you?"
"Iya... no da... Demo..."
Nuriko let out a frustrated puff. "You still don't believe me?
Very well..." He grabs my sleeve.
"Ano... Nuriko no da..."
"Follow me!" He yanks me and before I can say a word I'm being
slammed in the wall of my room.
"Oups!" whooped Nuriko. "I forgot that you can't walk into
I try to stop the ringing in my head. "I WAS trying to tell
you... na no daaaaa..."
Nuriko sighs and brings me to my bed. "Okay let's take that
from the top... Lie down and relax..." He looks at me. "Well come on,
relax already... Aren't you a monk?"
I actually scowl at him. "You try and relax when you have a
ghost in your room that just slammed you into a wall..."
style='mso-fareast-font-family:"MS Mincho"'>Nuriko sits next to me. "Fine!... I'm sorry I forgot you were
"Sorry to disappoint you no da..." I grumble.
I hear Nuriko chuckle, I look at him. "It's a wonder isn't it?
We aren't afraid to show our anger but Love... Real Love... You know
Miaka was more courageous than I could ever be..."
"Nuriko no da... You battled Ashitare... You did so many things
no da..." I start.
"Hai... But I was a coward when it came to bearing my heart...
My emotions to the only person I ever loved. I even deluded myself
that I could love Miaka..."
I look up at him. "Nuriko no da..."
"That's why you shouldn't do the same mistake, Chichiri..." He
grabs me by the shirt. "You have to tell Tasuki how you feel... If
either of you die... You will both regret it..."
I turn on my side, I don't want Nuriko to see my tears. "Maybe
it's better that he never knows..." I choke on my tears. "How I feel
for him. If I die, he can go to Kouji..."
"BAKA!" I wince at the accusation. "Don't you get it?... Tasuki
will be devastated even more if you die! That's it... I'm tired of
all this... I'm showing you..."
What I experience now is so sudden I am shocked. I can see
myself on the bed, curled up, it seems I'm asleep. And yet I see
myself floating over my bed. Now that isn't something you see
"Since you have to see... I'll show you how Tasuki is feeling
sad." Nuriko takes my arm and we both go through a wall. It's a weird
sensation really, I blush as we pass certain rooms and finally, we
are in his room.
Tasuki is crying in his bed and I feel so... like a peeping tom
looking at him, while he doesn't know I'm here. I feel ashamed
really, as much for my spying as for the way he cries and calls my
"Tasuki..." I let the whisper fall from my lips.
"He can't hear you..." Nuriko tells me as the door opens. It's
Kouji. How rude! I think to enter someone's room like this without
knocking first. I see the man going straight for Tasuki's bed.
Without realizing it my face constrict and my hands form fists. I
hate him for being there. I curse myself for my inaction.
Nuriko has remarked my reactions. "Why are you reacting this
way?... Didn't you say you would rather Tasuki loved Kouji?"
I'm too angry to reply. But his remark is like a glass of ice
cold water in my face. Why should I be jealous? Wasn't that what I
wanted all along?
They talk while I think I catch only part of the conversation.
Tasuki is afraid that I might die. I close my eye, oh Tasuki, I am so
worried about you myself. I reopen my eye and my blood freezes over.
Nuriko lets out a gasp, I bet he's regretting getting me here.
I can't breathe, I hear my heart shatter in a thousand of small
I can do nothing more than watch them.
Kouji is kissing Tasuki.
Tears sting my eyes.
That's what you wanted... wasn't it?
It's is only right...
Kouji will give him all what you can't...
NO! NO! NOOOOO!
It's not like you lov...
I DO, I LOVE HIM!!! SHUT UP!!!!
My conscience takes a step back as I cry. I lost him.
I hurt like I never did before in my life.
I feel Nuriko's hands on my shoulders. Then he gasps.
I don't want to but something compels me to look.
I see Tasuki, pushing back Kouji. I hear what he tells him. He
tells his friend he's sorry... that he can't... he won't betray...
It hits me.
He won't betray me...
He won't betray his love for me!
How could I have been so blind?
I feel phantom tears in my eye. Tasuki... Tasuki... How can you
love me so much?... When all I give you is sadness...
"He thinks you are worth it, Chichiri... You are... All you
need to do is open your heart."
Nuriko... You were right, I do not know my own heart. I watch
as Kouji leaves.
"It's not too late, Chichiri... You have to forgive yourself
for your past, he understands and he is willing to take a chance on
you... Are you ready to give yourself the same chance?"
"Nuriko..." I look at him, he smiles, he doesn't judge me. He
did help me realize I do love Tasuki, with all my heart. That I ache
for his presence and that I shouldn't be afraid of the future nor of
I smile to him but suddenly there's a great noise in the
direction of my chambers. I turn in the direction of the noise and I
feel myself flowing like quicksilver away from my friend. I hear him
cry out my name.
* * *
Miaka's world, her brother's bedroom. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I open my eyes. . .did I just feel Miaka's presence beside
me. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Wait a second. . .this isn't *my* bed! Where am I? And then
it comes back to me. . .the battle, the flash of light, waking up in
her world. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Gods, I really did cross over into her world, didn't I? I'm
in the place where she was a child, where she grew up. . .How strange
it all looks!
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Miaka's not here. I can hear her voice somewhere else in this
dwelling. . .somewhere downstairs.
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> When are we going to be able to go back to my world? I *have*
to go back there. I just can't leave the others to die! Keisuke and
Miaka promised me last night they'd find a way to get me there. . .
what if they're not able to?
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Having to stay here, with Miaka. . .forever. . .tempting,
very tempting. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> What *is* this strange world of hers, anyway? Last night, her
brother transported me here in a carriage that didn't need to be
drawn by horses! They have lamps that work without fire. . .all Miaka
has to do is push something on the wall and it's as bright as broad
daylight! Could it be this is an entire universe of sorcerers and
magicians? Well, that *would* explain how Miaka traveled from her
world to ours in the first place. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I get out of the bed and walk into the hall. The room next to
this is Miaka's, I can tell. I can feel her vibrations all around it,
smell her sweet scent. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I peer in. Little bed covered with rumpled pink linens. A
couple of chairs, a couple of tables, one of which has a funny device
atop it, a kind of green rounded box with a window on the front. Some
shelves covered with books written in a language I can't read.
And. . .hmm, what's this, she has an altar to the gods of her world!
She'd brought some religious artifacts to my world with her. . .some
pieces of stiff paper with pictures of the various gods on them,
which I guess are used in prayers, and a small figure of one god in
particular hanging on a chain from her bag. Her altar has a whole
bunch of little god figures.
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> They have animal gods in her world, just like in mine. But
these gods are strange. . .like no animals I've ever seen! There's
one that looks like a frog with an onion on its back. . .and one that
looks like a little fox with multiple tails. . .and a *really*
strange one that's just a big pink blob with hands and feet and HUGE
eyes! Hmm, this one looks like a turtle, could it be that her world
has a version of Genbu? And here's one of the god that was on her
bag, the one she seems particularly devoted to, a yellow thing that's
kind of like a mouse and kind of like a cat and has a lightning-
shaped tail. What did she call it? Pee-kah-choo?
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> So much I have yet to learn about this world. . .gods, if
it's *this* different from mine, what a shock it must have been for
her to arrive in Konan! Just like it was such a shock for me to
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> The smell of food drifts up to me from downstairs. . .that
must be where their cooking area is. Miaka's cooking. . .my stomach
clenches at the very thought. Ah, well, I've endured it before and I
can endure it again. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Before I go downstairs, though, I lie down on her bed. Mmm,
the scent of her. . .all around me. . .like I was holding her in my
arms. . .I embrace her pillow, dreaming of the day when we'll be
married, when we'll wake up every morning with our arms around each
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> But where will that marriage be? Will we be in this world,
or back in my world? Or. . .maybe it won't happen at all? No, no, I
don't want to think about that. I've lost so much already. . .my
family, my best friend. . .I won't lose her as well.
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I get up and toss aside the pillow. Time to find out what it
is she's burning down there. . .
# # #
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Gods, he really *does* seem fascinated with those things. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> After we cleaned up from breakfast, Tamahome and I went back
upstairs. He went into my room and made a beeline for the shelf where
I have my Pokemon figures. He keeps picking them up gingerly and
carefully examining them, as if they were sacred objects.
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Keisuke has promised me he's going to dress Tamahome like a
prince for our outing. Oooh, I can't wait. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "Wait until we go to the mall," I tell Tamahome. "I'll take
you to the food court and we can get Frappucinos at Starbucks! You
haven't *lived* until you've had one of them! And then we'll go
bowling, and we may even have time to go to Crown Arcade. . ."
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Keisuke pokes his head in the door. "Um, Miaka, we may have
to wait awhile before going. . ."
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "What? Why? But I wanted to take Tamahome. . ."
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "We'll still have time to go other places. But I just got a
call from Toji. . .his car broke down near the campus and he needs me
to give him a lift back to his place."
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Near the campus. . .that's a half-hour drive each way. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> We're going to be alone for an hour. . .a whole, lovely
hour. . .My eyes are wandering toward the bathroom, toward the
shower. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "Sure," I say. "We can wait."
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "Great. . .I won't be *too* long, I promise."
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Tamahome doesn't even notice him leave. He's still too
wrapped up in my Pokemon. He's turning a Vileplume over and over and
over in his hands. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I walk over to him and grab him from behind, wrapping my arms
around his waist. He gives a bit of a start and almost drops the
figure, then sets it down carefully.
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "We're alone," I say. "Come with me. . .I want to show you
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "Special?"
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "Over here, in the bathroom. . ."
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I take his hand and lead him, my heart pounding. It's going
to happen, at long last! I'm going to have him style="mso-spacerun: yes"> in the shower! Gods,
I can feel it now. . .the water pounding down on us, his hot, wet
skin under my hands and mouth. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> When we reach the room, he looks around. . . "I don't see
anything here that wasn't there before."
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I turn and put my arms around him, bringing my lips to his
for a kiss. "You'll see in a second. For now, take off your clothes."
# # #
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Whaat? She's being so. . .forward! I mean, gods know I sure
don't mind her wanting to make love. . .but did she have to ask me
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I see her reach over to the back wall of the room, which
seems to be made of square, blue bricks. There's two things on the
wall that look like steel stars, with a curved pipe between them.
She turns one star, then the other. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> And suddenly. . .IT'S RAINING.
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I can only gasp and stare at it. Sorcery. . .it *had* to be!
How else could it rain indoors? I walk over toward it, my mouth
hanging open. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "Tamahome? You can't go in the shower wearing clothes!" She's
dropping her own clothing to the floor, as casual as can be. How
could she be. . .when something like THAT is going on. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "Miaka. . .it's. . .it's. . .RAINING INDOORS! And. . .and
it's all staying in ONE SPOT!"
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "It's okay. . .it's supposed to do that! Come on, undress!"
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "No. . .no, I'm not going in that! It's. . .it's
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> She turns to me. . .naked and beautiful. . .and kisses me
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "It's all right, sweetheart. A shower is the most natural
thing in the world! See, it's just heated water going through the
pipes and coming out here. . .all the holes in the shower head are
what make it come out as a fine spray." She caresses my hair. "Don't
you trust me? It'll be fun, Tamahome, it'll be a great experience.
We can wash each other. . ." She brings her lips to mine again, and
her tongue pushes into my mouth, gently stroking and caressing mine.
I moan deep in my throat. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Okay, I'll give her shower thing a try, if she's going to
persuade me like that!
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I pull away from her and pull off this baggy top-and-bottom
set I got from her brother and drop them to the floor. "Let's do it!"
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "Yes, Tamahome!" She takes my hand, and leads me under the
spray. . .
# # #
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> This is the moment. . .this is it! The tube of shower gel is
in place, he's coming into the water with me. . .gods, how do I start
it? How does it start in my fantasy again?
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> He looks up at the water splashing down on him. "This is *so*
amazing! I can't believe the things you people can do here!" He
raises a hand and pushes it close to the shower head, then yelps
when the hot water burns him.
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "Where's the fire? How is this water heated?"
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "We heat it with gas."
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "GAS? You mean. . .you mean. . .the water is heated by
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I can't help but burst out laughing. Of course, that's the
only kind of gas he knows about! But at the same time, I'm starting
to fell impatient. . .won't he ever settle down and let me wash him?
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "It's natural gas, from the ground. It's made from
fossils. . ."
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> But he's not even paying attention to me! He's splashing in
the stream of water like a little kid! Oh, Gods. . .we haven't got
much time to do this! I can see my lovely fantasy slipping away from
me. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Determined to salvage the moment, I grab the tube of shower
gel, squeeze some on my hand and start to rub it along his back,
slowly, making sensual circles. . .
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> He stops his splashing. Finally. "Mmm. . .what's that nice
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "Shower gel. It's for washing. Here, hold out your hand. . ."
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> He does, and I squeeze some on it. Which I immediately
realize was a mistake. Now he's obsessively fascinated with the
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "Ooh!" he says, swirling his fingers around in it. "Look at
this! It's. . .it's slippery and cool. . ." Good Gods, he thinks it's
*food*, he's licking it! "Yuk!"
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Now I'm losing my cool. "You don't EAT it. You WASH with it."
And I take his hand and guide it to my body, hoping he'll get the
message at long last.
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> He doesn't. "Miaka. . .you waste stuff like this by *washing*
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "It's not a *waste!* It's what it's *for*!"
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "Why are you so upset, Miaka? All I did was ask a few
questions about. . ."
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> All he did? All he did was ruin my only chance to live my
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I storm out of the shower and back into my room, and fling
myself across the bed, dimly aware I'm getting the sheets wet. And
then, I start to cry.
* * *
Oh my god... What happened to Chichiri? I turn and he
disappeared so fast. Suddenly I hear a frightened cry.
"CHICHIRI!..." I cry out, my yell is echoed by Tasuki who
stumbles out of bed and wraps a blanket around his waist, grabs his
sword since his tessen doesn't work and is out and running before I
can even blink.
What should I do?...
I'm a spirit... I can't do anything to help my friends!...
I hear Tasuki yell a battle cry.
Hotohori-sama!... I must tell him... He has to do something...
The palace has been breached.
I fly to Hotohori's bedchambers, even Seiryuu couldn't stop me
"CHICHIRI!" I run and I pray I'm not too late, I slam into
someone in the corridor. I couldn't care less, get out of my way! I
slam Chichiri's door down and stand there.
I see one of Kouto's ninjas over Chichiri, I see my beloved
struggle with him, the dagger raises and falls. I see it stained with
I see blood and I turn berserk. I start to yell like a madman
and rushes the three armored men in Chichiri's bedchambers. I slam
my sword on them, they are surprised and I take it to full advantage.
I slash and parry their blows with my only weapon.
I am dimly aware of the cuts I get from them, I just want to
make them pay for hurting my Chichiri. I hear a mumble of prayers, my
heart feels elated, he's all right! I was in time to save him.
"TASUKI NO DA... DUCK!"
I don't even question him and I duck; just in time. I see
Chichiri's staff zip over my head and hit the two warriors straight
in the face. Whooo!... That's going to hurt come morning I see more
of those bastards trying to get in.
Those Kouto men aren't too stupid they know better than to
stand in the way of a Suzaku Seishi when he's mad. I'm about to
leap at them when out of nowhere jumps Hotohori, his sword drawn. He
pursues the remaining men with his guards.
I turn to Chichiri. "Are you all right?"
"Hai, no da..." He pales. "Tasuki, no da!... You're bleeding!"
I blink and look, yes I was wounded a little, I have a few
nicks and slashing damage. Chichiri fusses over me.
Hotohori returns to the room. "I will order some servants to
find you another room for tonight, Chichiri..."
"No... No, Hotohori-sama... It's all right, no da..."
Hotohori shakes his head. "It's too dangerous for you to sleep
"I know... no da... I'll... I'll... Just stay with Tasuki in
his room for tonight, no da... No need to rouse servants in the
middle of the night..." Chichiri says this quickly and he looks at
me, a very quick look. He wants me to tell the same to Hotohori.
"H... Hai Hotohori... no problem... they won't try that again
tonight... Chichiri's safe with me!" I tell him proudly.
My heart is beating so fast, I'm nervous. I don't want to say
one word too much, yet I am afraid not to say enough. Chichiri looks
at me, the mask lets me see part of his true emotions. He's as
nervous as me, he's blushing a little, that's when I realize he
stands very close to me. I want to hug him and hold him even closer
and take all his fears away.
But we have an audience.
Hotohori looks at us. "Are you two all right... Tasuki, maybe
you should see a healer for those wounds..."
"I'm all right..."
"I'll take care of his wounds, no da, Hotohori-sama..."
Chichiri holds my hand and leads me back to my room.
* * *
All I can do is cry.
My fantasy is ruined. Instead of a perfect, passionate
interlude, it was a disaster. There's no way it could have worked,
anyway. Not with him seeing the shower as some kind of exotic foreign
But that's not the only thing that's bothering me.
All this time, I've been pushing back one fact that I didn't
want to face. . . a fact that has just been driven home in a cruel,
cruel way by what just happened.
The fact that we're from entirely different worlds, different
times, different places, different planes of reality. Us being
together is out-and-out unnatural.
I think of Byakku no Miko, who loved one of her Seishi. . . and
was separated from him after she summoned her god. She was forced to
live in her world without him, marry a man she could never love as
she had loved him. . .
No, no, I don't want that to happen to me! I couldn't live like
that! I could never give myself to a man who wasn't Tamahome! But
Mikos and Seishi aren't supposed to be together, can never be
"Suzaku's supposed to be such a kind and gentle god!" I sob.
"Then how can he be so cruel?"
I feel someone sit on the bed, feel a hand on my back.
"Miaka?" Tamahome says softly.
"Go away! I need to be alone!"
style='mso-fareast-font-family:"MS Mincho"'>"Miaka, I'm sorry. I guess I did something wrong in there. Come
on, we can try it again."
"No, it's not you. It's. . . it's. . ." The words won't come
out. The feelings are stuck inside me, swelling within me, making me
feel like I'm going to burst.
"What, honey? You can tell me."
I can't! I can't tell you! I don't want to hurt you, my love. . .
But the words burst out of me anyway. "I wish I'd never come to
your world! I wish I'd never been Suzaku no Miko! Then I wouldn't be
hurting so much right now!"
"Oh, honey. . ." I feel him draw me close and press his lips
against my temple. I should pull away. . . but instead, I snuggle
into his embrace. I need it right now.
"Tamahome. . . I can't stand not knowing what's going on with
our friends right now! I can't stand the thought that everyone's in
so much danger! And. . . I can't stand the thought of losing you when
this is all over! It's going to be just like the other Miko. . .
you're going to go back to your world, and I'll be left here alone."
He pulls me closer. "That's not going to happen. I won't let
it happen! I'll do anything it takes to stay with you. Even if I have
to give up my powers, give up everything I am, I won't leave you,
ever! You're everything to me."
"But. . . but, Tamahome, you belong in Konan! You're going to
have to go back there, even if I can't!"
"No I don't. Not anymore. There's no reason for me to be in
Konan. style="mso-spacerun: yes"> My family is gone. I've got no connections to anything. . .
except you. My home is wherever you are. I'll adjust. . . I'll become
a citizen of this world. Hell, I'll even start worshipping Pee-ka-chu
and that pink blobby thing."
What? *Worshipping* Pikachu? Does he think my Pokemon are. . .
are. . .GODS?
I try to hold in the giggles, but I just can't. They burst out
of me, uncontrollably. Pikachu, a god! I'm laughing out loud, and it
"Did. . . did I do something wrong again?"
"Oh, Gods. . ." I manage to get my giggles under control and
throw my arms around him. "No. I'll explain about what those are
later. Right now, can we just enjoy being together?"
I want to believe in what you said, my love. I want the
security of knowing that somehow, some way, we'll be together no
matter what. And I have faith that you'll try anything, do anything
to be with me.
But for now. . .
"Of course," he says in his sexy whisper, bringing his lips to
mine. I kiss back with a hunger, with a desperate passion, with a
desire to keep him here with me forever. My hands are starting to
wander up and down his body, along his back, his shoulders, then
grabbing and caressing his bottom.
# # style="mso-spacerun: yes"> #
Ohh. . . yes, Miaka! That feels good, so good. . . I can feel
myself hardening already. I want so, so much to be able to lie on top
of her, to penetrate her, to make us truly one. . .
But I told her a couple of nights ago, our last night in Konan,
that we would do that on our wedding night. It would give us
something to stay alive for. And I'm going to keep my word. After
all, we'll be going back to Konan soon, facing the same danger. . .
I let my lips caress hers, moving my tongue in and out of her
mouth. When I move over to her ear and nibble on the lobe, she groans
loudly. "I love you." she whispers.
"I love you, too. Let me show you how much."
I run my tongue down her neck. . . I know she loves that, her
neck is a sensitive spot. . . and hear her give a little cry. I keep
licking downward, until I reach what I'm looking for.
"So beautiful," I whisper. "Miaka. . . your breasts are
gorgeous." I start to kiss my way over the curve. "So soft. . . your
skin is like velvet. . ."
My mouth contacts the pink around her nipple, and I kiss it
slowly, letting my tongue barely touch it. Mmm. . . I move to the
hard little bud, and flick my tongue across it. . . once, twice,
three times. . . then kiss it. She gasps. I take it in my lips and
begin to suckle, feeling her arch against me and tangle her fingers
in my hair.
"Tamahome. . . yes. . . ohhh, soo good. . ."
Nothing can compare to the sound of her voice purring in
passion like that. I want to hear her make more sounds. I want to
make her moan, I want to make her scream. I move my head over to her
other breast and let my fingers play with the first. She arches her
body toward me, parting her legs in a silent offer. It's an offer I
intend to take.
But first. . . I want to love her completely for awhile longer.
I ease my mouth away from her and roll her on her stomach.
"Tamahome?" she says.
"Mmmm, look at this. Your bottom is adorable." I caress it,
letting my eyes feast on it as my hand traces the firm, yet soft
curves. So shapely, so well-proportioned. . style="mso-spacerun: yes"> . Perfect. Absolutely
"That feels good." she sighs.
I bend over and kiss it, nipping it a bit. My fingers continue
to trail over the other buttock. I hear her moan, so I move my lips
about, kissing here and there. She seems to like anything I do back
here. . . and Gods know I like it! I take both her buttocks in my
hands and squeeze, and she moans my name.
"Please. . . please make me come, Tamahome, I'm getting so hot
"Yes, my love." I roll her onto her back, and bring my lips to
hers again. I run my hand over her stomach, lower. . . I feel how
damp the curls covering her petals are, and know she's telling the
truth. . . she's on fire.
I slip a finger in between and find her entrance, caressing the
lips, barely putting my finger inside. She lets out a small cry. I
move the finger around. . . ohh, how she feels inside! Pure softness,
a wet softness that's meant to pull a man in and hold him there.
"Do you like that?" I whisper. "You feel so good. . ."
"I'm going to give you more, Miaka. I'm going to give it to you
until you can't stand it anymore. I want you to come harder than you
ever have before. I'll show you. . ."
I let my thumb reach up. . . ahh, there's her pearl. I touch it
and caress it *very* gently as my finger continues to go in and out.
She moans, calls my name over and over. . .
I want to give you more still. A pleasure you're not expecting.
And I find one of my other fingers reaching back, back behind her
womanhood. . .
# # #
What is he doing? He's reaching back there. . . is he going to
put his finger in my. . .
OHHH! He did!
Gods! Ohh, it feels good! He's put it just inside, just enough
to wiggle his finger around. Just enough so I know he's there. . .
And his other finger in my other entrance. . . and his thumb on
my jewel. . . sensation, pure sensation flooding me from all over
that area, washing through my entire body, blocking out conscous
thought. All I can do is toss about and moan . . . move back against
the finger in my bottom, move up against the finger in my womanhood,
the thumb on my pearl. . . hot, so hot, oh, I'm burning up. . . and
so much pleasure, oh, oh, I don't know if I can stand it. . .
overloaded. . . I'm going to explode, yes, yes, Tamahome, keep doing
that, oh, Gods, you're making love to me every way you can, aren't
you? Any second now, any second. . .
"Faster," I moan. "Harder. Do it, please!"
"Come for me, Miaka! Come for me. . . let me hear you
scream. . ."
And it happens. Everything explodes in heat and blinding white
light, and I arch up off the bed and let out a yell at the top of my
lungs, clinging to him as if my life depended on it. More. . . yes,
another wave, OOohhh. . .and another, more delicious shudders,
Tamahome, Tamahome. . .
And then, it stops, and my whole body is relaxed, so
relaxed. . . I flop back on the bed.
He kisses me. "How was that?"
"Incredible." And I mean it. "You always know just what to
do. . ."
"I want to please you as much as I can."
"I don't know what I can do to match that." And I don't. I
sometimes wonder if I can *ever* give him as much pleasure as he gives
"You just have to be you."
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "I'd like to do more than that!" I kiss him.
"IÕll be right back, honey. . .I'm going to wash my hands."
"You remember how the sink works, right?"
"Yes, yes. . .I'll be fine!"
When he's gone, I stretch lazily and roll over on my stomach.
I could take him in my mouth again, he always likes that. Or caress
him with my hands. . .I sigh. What I *really* want is to take him
fully inside my body. But he said he wants to do that *after we're
married*. . .and I'll go along with that.
There *will* be a wedding. We *will* be married. I won't let
myself think otherwise.
I hear his footsteps, and feel his hand on my bottom. "Hey
there, sexy!" He kisses the top of my head.
"Mmm.. . you're gorgeous, you know that? I think I'm going to
just look at you for awhile."
"That's not going to help your *problem*," I say, reaching for
his erection. I let my fingers slide up and down its length.
"Ahh," he moans. "Yes, I do have a problem, don't I? Well, I
*know* you can help me with it!"
"Maybe I will," I say in my most teasing voice, reaching up to
find one of his nipples and gently squeeze it. He groans.
"Maybe? What do I have to do to make sure it's *definitely*?"
I get up on all fours, ready to tell him to stand in front of
me so I can pleasure him with my mouth. . .
Then, I feel his hand on my bottom again. . .
"Miaka. . . can we try something different?"
I pause, confused. Different? Is he going to put it. . . *in*
my bottom? Like in my other fantasy?
"What is it?"
He kneels behind me, grasps my hips. . . suddenly, I'm filled
with a strange mix of emotions. Curiousity (what does it feel like?
Different than his finger?), excitement (one fantasy *is* going to
come true!), fear (what if it HURTS?) and a bit of confusion (he
said he wasn't going to go *inside me* until our wedding night. . .)
But instead of thrusting in, he begins to rub his manhood back
and forth between the cheeks. . . not penetrating, just creating
A bit *too much* friction. He's not rubbing it very fast, and
I can feel his skin pulling on mine.
I ease myself away. "Hold on. . . I'm going to make this easier
for you." I run to the bathroom and get out the jar of Vaseline,
dipping my fingers in and reaching down to the area he was just
loving. . .
I walk back to the bed and kiss him. "Try again."
"Miaka, are you sure you want to do this? It's just an
"Yes, I'm very sure." And I get on all fours again.
He kisses my neck, my ear. . . then, he grasps my hips again.
"Oohh!" he says as he starts to rub. "Much nicer. . . yes. . .
ohh, this feels so good. . ."
It feels good to me, too! "Mmm," I say, moving my hips back
"This feels so good, Miaka," he whispers. "Your bottom. . .so
soft. . .so sexy. . style="mso-spacerun: yes"> .mmm. . .
# # #
Oh, this feels unbelivable. Why didn't we do this before? Just
pure, pure pleasure, like I've never felt. I move faster, thinking
I'll never, never get enough. . . I want to come so badly, but I want
this to go on forever, too. Miaka. . . I want to share this pleasure
with you. . . I reach under her body with both hands, and begin to
gently stroke her jewel with one, reaching for her right breast with
the other. She lets out a long sigh, moaning, "Good. . . mmm,
good. . ."
"Oh, darling. . . feel what I'm feeling. . . you're so
delicious. . .I could make love to you for the rest of my life. . "
She's thrusting her hips now, and that rubs her harder, faster
against me, and I know I'm not going to hold out much longer. It's
going to happen, yes, yes, now, darling, NOW. . .
And I shout her name as I feel the eruption from the bottom of
my soul. I pull away from her just as the pleasure overwhelms me,
and I'm wracked by spasms of bliss. Somewhere, I hear her cry out as
well. . .
We both collapse onto the bed, panting heavily. "I love you so
much," I whisper, kissing her again and again and again.
"I love you, too."
She shifts herself around so we're holding each other,
face-to-face. We just snuggle, feeling each other's heartbeats and
breathing return to normal. How nice to just have a quiet, sweet
moment together, after all the hell we went through before. . .
I can feel a sticky fluid on her back. "Feels like I got you,"
"There's some on my back, and on my bottom. It's nothing."
"I have to get you cleaned up."
Suddenly, she sits bolt upright. "Cleaned up. . . Tamahome, we
still have to get you into the shower before my brother comes home!
I'm supposed to have you all cleaned up by then. . . we're just going
to have a time for a *very* quick wash, no playing around!" And she
grabs my hand and pulls me back to the bathroom, and that indoor
Okay, I'll take that funny fruity-smelling stuff and wash with
it (still think that if I brought some tubes of it back to Konan, I
could sell it and get a *fortune* for it!) And I'll stand under the
magic rainstorm and let it rinse me off. I'll do whatever it takes to
fit in in this world. . .so I can be with you, my darling.
Tasuki's bedroom in Konan.
What am I doing here, no da?...
I want to be with him and yet, I'm afraid. I'm so stupid, no
da. He is younger than me and I feel like a child before him.
He takes me out of my thoughts when he tugs at my shirt.
"Chichiri..." He tells me softly. "You were hit..."
"It's nothing no da..."
He looks at me, the candles that are lighted gives his hair a
fiery look, his skin a patina resembling bronze and his eyes look
like molten amber. "I'll be the judge of that..." I lift my arm with
a little difficulty because I got hit in the shoulder. He looks at
my wound and turns serious. "I'll clean it..." He gets up and I watch
him gather what he will need. I blush, at the fact we are both half
naked and the sight of his body makes my blood boil.
I've seen him naked before, we were in a pond with Hotohori
once and his body, I had to look away... Or else I would have had a
reaction. He turns his back to me, he has muscled back, like I will
never have in my life. I want to touch his skin but I can't I'm stuck
into place with shyness.
He turns back to me with a damp cloth, he carefully cleans the
area. "Mmm..." He says, his breath on my skin makes me shiver. "The
cut isn't deep, but we better tend to that..." He binds the wound.
style='mso-fareast-font-family:"MS Mincho"'>I take another and proceed to do the same to him. I never stood
this close to him before, never in this state of undress. It excites
me... I bite my lower lip. My hands touch him, but I dare not caress
him as I have always fantasized.
Yes... I have fantasizes... It's so weird for me to admit
having them. He's so much more beautiful than in those dreams. Beauty
and grace... If he were a God... I would worship the ground he would
He looks at me, his eyes are so calm and soft, he waits. Dear
Gods, he still waits for me to tell him how I feel...
But... How do I tell him?
I had known Kouran all my life... It was easy to tell her. But
gods above, what I feel for him is so much stronger. I want to offer
him everything, my heart, my soul... my body...
I tremble, he takes my hands into his.
"Thank you, Chichiri..." His voice is so soft.
"For what na no da?..."
"For taking care of my wounds... and taking care of me..." He
smiles, he looks me in the eye. I feel like I'm melting.
"You took care of me also... no da..." My voice is but a
whisper, I can't rise my voice higher, the words get stuck in my
throat. I want to say I love you... but I can't...
"Well... Good night..." He tells me getting up.
"Good n.. night?... Tasuki no da?... Where are you going?" I
ask, no stay! my heart screams.
"I'm staying here... I'll just sleep on the floor."
I blink. "No... This is your bed... I'll sleep on the floor."
He chuckles. "I can't let you do that, Chichiri... Your cut
isn't deep but I don't want it to get infected.
"In... In that case..." I start slowly, then I say the rest so
fast, I wonder if he heard me. "The bed is big enough for both of
He looks at me, he blushes ever so slightly, like a child. "I
can't do that Chichiri... It would be better if I slept on the
I take off my mask, I must gather my courage and tell him how I
Taking off my mask, he's stunned for a few seconds, his eyes
tell me without a word he finds me beautiful, even with my scar. He
swallows and licks his lips, my heart skips a beat. What do those
"I'm afraid..." he tells me simply.
"Afraid, no da?..." I'm a bit surprised by his answer. "Of me?"
He chuckles. "No... Of myself... Chichiri... I would be afraid
to... not be able to... stop myself from holding you... kissing
I draw in a breath. "M... Maybe... I want you to do that to
me..." My head swims, yet at the same time I feel like a weight has
been lifted from my soul.
style='mso-fareast-font-family:"MS Mincho"'>"Are you saying?" He asks me, still doubting his hearing.
"I... I am... ready..."
There... I said it.
I finally said it.
I feel dizzy, yet I feel free, I was afraid... I have no longer
a reason to be. I look up to him.
I can't hold back those tears, he looks at me afraid that he
has hurt me. I smile.
"Chichiri... You have no idea how happy I am... I'm so happy!"
"You are crying, no da..."
"Of joy, Chichiri, I cry of joy. I had resigned myself never to
hear this from your lips... But I have... I just did... You have
given me so much joy..."
"Tasuki..." He slyly moves towards me, my arms go around him.
Finally, I have him in my arms. I shiver of joy as I feel his warm
chest against mine. I nuzzle his hair, short, yet soft, the smell of
the incense he burns to meditate lingers in his hair. I love this
He moves again, lifting his head towards me. He's blushing,
it's so cute. He looks so innocent. He's older than me, I feel he's
the one who should be teaching me how to love. But I am the one. He
looks up at me, his lips moving slightly, he wants to kiss me but
doesn't know how to ask, how to move to initiate it.
I bend forward and our lips touch. His lips are so soft, like
petals of a delicate rose. The first touch is fleeting, I give him
small kisses, he starts to responds to them. He makes little purring
sounds as my lips take him more.
I kiss him softly. I want it to be a cherished memory for him.
Our first kiss, with both of us sober and fully aware of what we are
My eye closes on its own. We're kissing!
I didn't know what to expect, but whatever it was, I'm sure it
pales with this. His hand goes behind my neck to cradle my head. The
kisses multiply and become less and less innocent as my shyness melts
against his passion.
He captures my lips, oooh... I don't want him to ever stop. His
mouth becomes more hungry, wetting my own appetite. I answer in kind
to his kisses, boldly pressing myself more against him. My hands have
started to move on his broad back, registering the muscles there.
He darts his tongue suddenly on my lips. It sends fire in my
stomach. Gently he opens my mouth and I taste him. His tongue seeks
my own, it shies away out of reflex, but with a gentle urging, we
meet. Soon my own tongue is slipping in his mouth, fueled with
passion and a eagerness to learn more of him.
I never shared such passionate kisses with Kouran. I never
would have dared. But it feels good and right. I know Tasuki's taste
now, I wondered what his kisses would taste like. No more dreaming or
wondering now, I know. He wants to break the kisses with me, but I'm
addicted, I don't let him stop. He gives me then a kiss that blows
my mind away, I shiver as his mouth moves away. I feel myself float
down on the bed with him over me.
He drapes himself over me, holding me close, keeping me warm. I
feel secure and loved, yes loved. I never doubted I could feel love.
Tasuki... His name has become the beginning of my soul as I feel it
expand. He isn't confining me... He's releasing me. My cheeks must be
flushed, burning with passion.
I reach for his lips and we kiss again. I never thought I could
get used to kissing him so fast. Those kisses are like half-
remembered dreams, as I become more and more sure. My tongue darts in
his mouth, I blush at my own eagerness to do this. I never realized I
had such passion inside me.
He pulls back as we catch our breaths. His hands go around my
neck and he takes off my necklace, then he unties my hair. He
smoothes my hair, looking at me sweetly, a slight smile on his lips.
Oh Chichiri... I look at him, he trusts me completly. What
could I have done good in this life to merit such a wonderful man in
Maaaa... I slap myself mentally, don't go too fast you
hentai... You're going to scare him away!
I pass my hands in his unbounded hair, it's soft like the first
feathers of chicks. He closes his eye as my fingers roam in his hair.
That smile, how much I wanted to see it.
"Chichiri..." I start softly. He looks back up at me, his own
hands raise to play with my hair. I purr like a kitten as his fingers
brush my skull, it feel very sensual actually.
"Chichiri..." I say again, I touch his beautiful face. My index
traces his features slowly and softly, his chin, his mouth, his nose.
I then trace his scar, he shivers, the skin is very soft and
obviously sensitive. He reaches with a hand and pulls mine away from
his scar. All right darling... I won't touch it tonight again.
He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it gently, shyly, like
"Chichiri... I... I love you..."
I kiss his hand and see tears brimming in his eye. Not out of
sadness but of joy, I kiss the tears away and drink them. When I'm
done he looks back up to me, blushing, hesitant as what to do next.
I could show him all there is to be known of making love. I
could make him shiver and cry out my name. Make him mine, oh gods, I
feel myself responding to that. Make him loose it all in my mouth
like I did that first time.
But I won't.
He accepts me, accepts our love.
He still needs time.
I want us to be forever.
Even though my body will hate me... I shall not touch him
intimately tonight. I might regret it. But it wouldn't feel right to
do so now, to make love so soon after he tells me he's ready.
I rise from the bed. All I'm wearing is a tied blanket, I don't
know if I should take it off or not. He grabs my hand, afraid that
I'm going away.
"I need to blow out the candles... It wouldn't be safe to sleep
with them still lighted..."
He nods and I arrange the blankets over him. "I'll be right
back." I kiss him before rising to blow out the candles.
Darkness falls in the room.
Concealling myself in the night, I let the blanket drop. He
still has his pants on, I hope he doesn't mind, I can't sleep with
I slip in between the covers, he gives me a place. Hesitantly
he snuggles against me. Yup he still has his pants on... He puts his
arms around my waist and gasps when he realizes I'm naked. He's a
little uncertain, I kiss his cheek.
"Can't sleep otherwise... Gomen... But don't worry... I won't
do anything... Sleep..." I kiss his brow.
He puts his head on my shoulder and I hug him close. There's a
comfort about our naked chest touching and I sigh with the sensations
I am flooded with.
"Tasuki... no da..."
"Mmmm?...." I look at him in the darkness, seeing only the
outline of his face.
"Tasuki..." He bites his lips and whispers softly. "I love
I feel so much joy, the words *I love you, Chichiri* get stuck
in my throat. My only response is to hold him fiercely, he hugs me
back just as strong, he understood. When I can work my throat again
I tell him.
"Love you..." I kiss him again. "Sleep..."
He nods and snuggles back into my embrace. I smile, my head is
resting on his head.
"Hai... Tasuki... Koi..." He breathes sleepily. His breathing
slows as sleep claims him. My eyes close as my nose is buried in his
hair, the smell of incense lulls me to sleep.
"Love..." I whisper before I fall asleep myself.
* * *
I'm finished with my shower, and I'm getting dressed to go out.
We decided to each wash up 'solo' so we wouldn't be tempted to do
anything else. . . I can only imagine what Keisuke would think if he
were to come home and see us in a passionate heap!
Tamahome assured me that he knew what to do with the shower gel
now, that he'd be okay in there on his own. I wouldn't be surprised,
though, if the tube went back to the Universe of the Four Gods with
him. . .and ended up sold on the street.
That is, if we go back. . .
Do I *want* to go back? It would be so heavenly if we could
just stay here together, with no wars, no Nakago, no constant
danger. . .
No, we have to go back. If only just to make sure everyone's
okay. Besides. . . I want to see everyone again, I miss them. A lot.
I find myself thinking about Tasuki and Chichiri. Will they
ever find the kind of happiness that Tamahome and I know? They love
each other. . . I know they do. . . but there's been so many
obstacles standing in the way of them being together.
Yes, I want to go back. . .if only to see them happy together.
I search around for the pair of bead bracelets my brother gave
me. I seem to remember having put them on before we went to the
battlefield. I can only find one. . .
Oh, yeah, that's right! I couldn't find the other one! I
remember looking all over my room for it, and before I could find it,
Tamahome was calling me and telling me it was time to go.
I put on the one bracelet. Maybe someone from the Universe of
the Four Gods will find its mate and I'll be able to talk to
them. . . it would be *so* nice to hear from them again. . .
The next morning in the corridors of the palace.
"Tama... Come..." I bent and scoop my little cat. He goes
straight to his usual resting place, my shoulder.
"Mitsukake!" I turn when I hear the familiar voice of the
Emperor and fellow Seishi, Hotohori.
"Have you seen Tasuki or Chichiri?... I must talk to them..."
started the Emperor. "I want Tasuki to come with me and defense the
North pass, like he suggested. I'd like you and Chichiri to go in the
West and protect the people there..."
"Hai, Hotohori-sama... I shall so as you ask. There might be
people there who need my skills..." I replied. "As for Tasuki and
Chichiri... No, I haven't seen them. I was about to go check in
Tasuki's room, maybe they overslept..."
"Chichiri... Oversleeping?" the Emperor chuckles. "Highly
"Both he and Tasuki have had troubles sleeping lately..." I
tell him. "They both asked me for some medicine... maybe last night
was the night where they finally fell asleep."
Hotohori shrugs, sleep, food, clean water, those things have
become a luxury, these days. I know I mustn't loose heart, but the
more time passes, the more I feel something cold eyeing me in a
Soon, we are both at Tasuki's door. I knock.
I knock again, still no answer.
Me and Hotohori look at each other and nod. He pulls out his
sword as I open the door. We get in.
We were expecting maybe that Kutou guard had come in.
Maybe that there would be guards dead, Tasuki and Chichiri got
But nothing could have prepared us for this.
Tasuki and Chichiri all snuggled up in bed like lovers.
The way they were holding on to each other that's what it
"Mreow..." Tama jumps from my shoulder and makes his way to the
bed as if this was natural.
Well... I guess it is...
I hear a gargled sound next to me. I turn to see Hotohori,
"W... Wh... What are they doing?..." He stutters. "Never
mind... I don't wish to know... I don't think I need to see them
right now." The Emperor looks flushed. "In fact... Ihearmyadvisor
He's gone gone like the wind. I never thought I could see
someone move this fast in a full armor.
Meanwhile in the room, Tama had made his way to the bed and had
jumped on it. He was seeking the warmest place and settled between
Tasuki and Chichiri, mewing.
"...mmm... ama... go 'way..." grumbled Tasuki.
Damn cat... I grumble as I wake.
"Ssssshhh... You're going to wake Chichiri..." I shush. I open
my eyes and Tama licked my nose. I look at Tama, that cat doesn't
know how close he is to being pitched in a wall. When suddenly
Mistukake takes the little cat away.
I go wide eyed. "Mi... Mitsukake..." I look from him to
Chichiri and back to the healer again. "I... I can explain..."
"Mmmmmm... Tasuki... no da..." purrs Chichiri, snuggling closer
to me, I can't help blushing.
"No need..." says Mitsukake backing away with Tama. "Hotohori
wanted to see you about the upcoming battle... Maybe you need to rest
a little more..."
"What's THAT supposed to mean?" I growl.
"Nothing..." whooped Mitsukake as he ran away.
I snuggle back to Chichiri, grumbling. Suddenly I heard a
chuckle, then I see Chichiri's shoulders shake.
"Chichiri!... You were awake?"
"Hahaha... Hai no da!..." He put his hands around my neck and
kisses me. "You're cute when you blush no da!..." He laughs at my
I look at him with dangerous eyes. "Chichirrrrrrrri!" I start
to kiss and nibble his neck.
I got out of my room a little while after, I have to watch
myself I almost went too far. I smirk, I wouldn't have minded. But, I
sigh, Hotohori wants to see me and Kouji and I better get there
before he sends Kouji in my room.
But I'm so happy... I'm in love... I do a little pirouette in
the corridor. If Miaka could see me now!
"Tamahome! Are you ready?.. My brother should be back any
I blink. "Miaka?"
Has she come back, but how? The Seiryuu no Miko send her back
to her world. Her voice came from her room. I push the door.
She called my name but I don't see her.
"MIAKA!" I cry again. She cries my name and as I look for her
I literally fall on a bead bracelet and I fall down.
"Are you still swearing?" she asks. The bracelet...she must
have one that's identical! I can talk to her in her world.
"Never mind that!... Miaka... Are you all right? Is Tamahome
"YES!!! He is... It's so great!..." She sobers up. "How are
things back in Konan?"
"Things could be better... We're barely holding the siege... We
could use a good fighter like Tamahome here... But I'm glad he's
happy with you..."
"How can you say that when things are so bad?" she asks me.
"Because Miaka... In every desert... There's an oasis..."
"Huh?... What are you talking about?"
I grin. I have to tell her. "It happened Miaka... Chichiri told
me... He was ready..."
"Huh?... Ready for what?" She asks, then it dawns on her.
"Oh... OOOOOH! REALLY?... You..."
"Hai we confessed our love... I'm so happy Miaka!..."
"Oh! OH! OH!!! I'm missing that!! OH TASUKI!!! I so glad for
both of you... Do the others know?"
I laugh nervously. "Errr... Well Mitsukake kinda found us
together this morning..."
"What already?... Did you treat Chichiri well?" she almost
I facevault. "No... NONONONO... We just slept..."
"No I mean it... I couldn't jump on him like that... I didn't
want to scare him away..."
* * *
My heart is beating like thunder. It's what I've hoped for,
what I've prayed for! They're together at last! Oh, Gods, why did I
have to be separated from them while this was going on?
They didn't make love, not yet. . . but in a way, that's a good
thing. Tasuki is willing to wait until Chichiri is ready, that's a
sign that he *truly* loves him. I almost want to laugh. For all his
brashness, Tasuki can sometimes be the perfect gentleman.
"Chichiri is very lucky to have you, Tasuki!" I say.
"I feel I'm the lucky one, Miaka."
And then, I hear the door close downstairs. Keisuke is back.
We're going to be leaving in a few minutes, as soon as he helps
Tamahome get ready. Damn. . .
* * *
"Oh... My brother came back... I have to go... Tell everyone
I'm okay... and..." She giggled. "Kiss Chichiri for me..."
I laugh. "THAT... will be a pleasure."
"I bet!" she grins. "Bye!"
"Good bye, Miaka..." I look at the bracelet and wonder what
kind of magic permitted me to talk to her. I smile, I'm happy for her
and even thought things are bleak... I have Chichiri and with him,
I'm sure that we will be able to go through with it.
I love him and I feel like I can take on the world!